Fun Things to Do in an Elevator 1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off. 2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers. 3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: “Shut up, all of you just shut UP!” 4. Whistle the first [...]
Continue reading …Top reasons why it’s great to be French 1. Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time 2. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog’s legs 3. If there’s a war you can surrender really early 4. You don’t have to read the subtitles on those [...]
Continue reading …The Top 10 Signs Your Broker Was Affected by the Stock Market Crash 1. “He can’t come to the phone right now..he’s on the ledge.” 2. “He won’t be in today…he was made an offer and he refused.” 3. “He left the building and not via the elevator..if you catch my drift.” 4. “I’m sorry, [...]
Continue reading …The Top Recently Rejected Saturday Morning Cartoons 1. “Billy, the Homicidal Smurf.” 2. “Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home.” 3. “Archie, the Abcessed Tooth.” 4. “Yosemite Sam…UNCENSORED!” 5. “The Golden Girls meet The Power Rangers.” 6. “Da Boys in Mister Rogers Neighborhood.” 7. “The Land of The Lost…The Barney Years.” 8. “COPS” in [...]
Continue reading …The Top 10 Least Desirable Fortunes in a Fortune Cookie 1. We know where you live. 2. You will need good reading material in approximately 15 minutes. 3. Everyone’s meal today is on you! 4. The “special sauce” came from the floor! 5. Guess what our special “drop” was in our Egg Drop Soup and [...]
Continue reading …The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts 1. Spinach flavored Rice Cakes. 2. Teeth removing Taffy 3. Metamucil in a straw 4. Ex-Lax Brownies 5. Caramel Covered Zucchini 6. Colored Crisco on a Stick 7. Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts 8. Chocolate Covered Prunes 9. A Handful of Red Man 10. Anything that ticks!
Continue reading …The Top 10 Floor Plans for the Planet Hollywood Movie Hotel 1. “Scream” suite which becomes vacant quickly. 2. Hotel pool never gets used due to menacing music and one lone fin circling at all times. 3. Marv Albert has reservations for “The Crying Game” floor. 4. More suicide jump precautions on the Pauly Shore [...]
Continue reading …The Top 10 Reasons Disney Delayed Launching Their Cruise Line 1. Pluto’s “accident” on Deck 3 2. Room service using Aladdin was getting out of hand. 3. Exterminator killed off “rat” problem only to discover they were Mickey and Minnie’s cousins. 4. Drunken dispute between Donald and The Mighty Ducks over who was mightier. 5. [...]
Continue reading …The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy 1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth. 2. His restrooms are labeled “Bleeders” and “Non-Bleeders” 3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance. 4. Does an extensive search for cavities…dental and body. 5. He…ummm..licks his tools clean. 6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 [...]
Continue reading …Top Advantages of An Asteroid Really Hitting Earth 1. For starters, you’d be able to surf in South Dakota. 2. Wouldn’t have to hear that garbage Aerosmith song anymore. 3. The one dinosaur on the planet (here’s a clue..he’s purple) would be extinct. 4. We’d miss out on Tony Danza’s or Jenny McCarthy’s next sitcom. [...]
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