Computer jokes: Windows 98 hourly tweaks
11th-hour tweaks for Windows ‘98 by Microsoft 10. Included subliminal “Impeach Janet Reno” messages in start-up screen. 9. New Internet Explorer feature: whenever you visit a Web site ending in “.gov,” a message first appears reminding you that Microsoft is not a monopoly. 8. Source code no longer ones and zeros–try 666s and zeros. Windows [...]
October 31, 2008 / Comments Off / Read MoreMy computer broke down. It crashed and burned! And for my AOL, I really yearned! I tried to stay busy… And keep it off my mind. It was worse than cigarettes, at least butts I can find!! So I went to Wal-Mart, and got on their pc. The cashier in electronics was staring at me. [...]
Continue reading …By following the instructions below, you should have error-free, long-lasting floppy disks. Never leave diskettes in the disk drive, as data can leak out of the disk and corrode the inner mechanics of the drive. Diskettes should be rolled up and stored in pencil holders.
Continue reading …Programmer produces code he believes is bug-free. Product is tested. 20 bugs are found. Programmer fixes 10 of the bugs and explains to the testing department that the other 10 aren’t really bugs. Testing department finds that five of the fixes didn’t work and discovers 15 new bugs.
Continue reading …This article is from the Wall Street Journal, Tuesday, March 1, 1994: Befuddled PC Users Flood Help Llines, and No Qquestion Seems To Be Too Basic AUSTIN, Texas – The exasperated help-line caller said she couldn’t get her new Dell computer to turn on. Jay Ablinger, a Dell Computer Corp. technician, made sure the computer [...]
Continue reading …Webster’s Dictionary definition of Windows 95 Windows95: n. 32 bit extensions and a graphical shell for a 16 bit patch to an 8 bit operating system originally coded for a 4 bit microprocessor, written by a 2 bit company, that can’t stand 1 bit of competition.
Continue reading …Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll be generous and give you a choice of three places in which you’ll be locked [...]
Continue reading …You know you have been on the computer too long when… When you are counting objects, you go “0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D…”. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When your wife says “If you don’t turn off that darn machine and come to bed, then I am going to [...]
Continue reading …Humorous Computer-Related Acronyms IBM I Blame Microsoft Idiots Buy Me Idiots Building Machines I’ll Buy Macintoshes It Bit Me
Continue reading …BIT – A word used to describe computers, as in “Our daughter’s computer cost quite a bit.”BOOT – What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skill. BUG – What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes.
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