blind man with a seeing eye dog at his side walks into a grocery store. The man walks to the middle of the store, picks up the dog by the tail, and starts swinging the dog around in circles over his head.
The store manager, who has seen all this, thinks this is quite strange. So, [...]
A blonde’s car had broken down. A cop pulled up and asked her what the group of naked men next to her were doing. The blonde said, ”They are my emergency flashers.”
It was a particularly tough football game, and nerves were on edge. The home team had been the victim of three or four close calls, and they were now trailing the visitors by a touch-down and a field goal. When the official called yet another close one in the visitors’ favor, the home quarterback blew [...]
A lawyer named Impos Syble was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
“Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer.
“Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. “In this state, it’s against the law to bury two [...]
A guy walks into a pub and says, ”Can you remove this steering wheel from my pants?”
The bartender says, ”Why is that there? Is it annoying?”
“Yes,” the man said, ”it’s driving me nuts.”
Two morons stand on a cliff with their arms outstretched. One has some budgies lined up on each arm, the other has parrots lined up on his arms.
After a couple of minutes, they both leap off the cliff and fall to the ground.
Laying next to each other in intensive care at the hospital, one moron [...]
How do you give a blonde a brain transplant?
Blow in her ear.
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the [...]
A golfer hooked his tee shot over a hill and onto the next fairway. Walking toward his ball, he saw a man lying on the ground, groaning with pain.
“I’m an attorney,” the wincing man said, “and this is going to cost you $5000.”
“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry,” the concerned golfer replied. “But I did yell [...]
A man comes home from work and sits in his recliner in front of the television.
“Hey, wife!” he yells. “Gimme a beer before it starts!” She gives him his beer. Fifteen minutes pass.
“Hey, wife!” he yells. “Gimme a beer before it starts!” She gives him his beer. Five minutes pass.
“Hey, wife!” he yells. “Gimme a [...]
