There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.
The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, [...]
Q: What’s the bad thing about 5 lawyers in a cattalac driving off a cliff
A: A cattalac seats SIX!
There was this Hawaiian and fillipino man that wanted to learn how to hunt. So they met this indian man, the indian man took them to a forest and pitched a camp.
The next day they woke up the indian man came back with a huge bear over his shoulder. So the hawaiian and fillipino told [...]
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. “Don’t worry, son. Your mother will come back. She’s only bringing people babies and making them happy.”
The next night, it’s father’s turn to do the job. Mother [...]
Two blondes are walking in the forest.
One looks down and says, “Look, deer tracks”.
The other blonde looks down and says, “Those aren’t deer tracks, those are bear tracks”.
Half an hour later they were still arguing, when the train hit them.
Q. What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A. A good start.
Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life- until the boat sank.
He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies… Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on [...]
Q. What do you get when you cross a rooster and peanut butter?
Ans: A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
One day a drunk man told the bartender, “I’ll bet you $100 that I can bite my right eye.” The bartender grinned and said, “Okay, you drunk.” The drunk pulled out his right fake eye and bit it. After more drinks the drunk said, “I bet you $200 I can bite my left eye.” The [...]
A Yuppie in a BMW is driving down the expressway when a speeding truck sideswipes his car tearing the driver’s side door. When the cop arrives on the accident scene, he finds the Yuppie whining and complaining about his missing door and the damage to his vehicle.
“You guys make me sick,” says the cop. “You’re [...]
A young couple had just returned from their honeymoon and were settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met the man in the hallway. She said, “I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your bride would [...]
A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.
“What can I do for [...]
First the Lord made man in the Garden of Eden.
Then he said to himself, “There’s something he’s needing”
After casting about for a suitable pearl,
He kept messing around and created a girl.
Two beautiful legs, so long and so slender,
Round, slim, and firm, and ever so tender.
Two lovely hips to increase his desire,
And rounded and firm to [...]
One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell as he is wallowing in despair he has his first meeting with the devil. Devil: Why so glum, chum?
Guy : What do you think? I’m in hell.
Devil: Hell’s not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here, you a drinking man?
Guy: Sure [...]
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice.
She said, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I’m completely nude.”
With that she stripped from her neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, “Mama [...]
