A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, “What’s this, Paw?”
The father responded, “Son, I have never seen anything like this in my [...]
your momma’s so poor when she was kicking a can on a street someone asked her what she was doing she responded”I’m moving my house.
There was a contruction worker who was working on a building when he fell 15 stories to his bloody death.
He arrived at the pearly gates and St. Peter said “Oh, I am sorry, my son. But you have been sentenced to hell.”
The worker agreed - not like he could do anything else - and he [...]
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do. “Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?” [...]
Once Santa Singh, the psychiatrist, met a friend and exclaimed, “I heard you are dead.”
But you see I’m alive, smiled the friend.
Impossible, said Santa Singh. The man who told me is much more reliable than you.
Santa to his wife: darling, years ago u had a figure like coke bottle.
Jeeto: yes darling i still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it’s 1.5 ltr.
———–
banta: you cheated me.
shopkeeper: no, i sold a good radio to you.
banta: radio label shows made in japan but radio says this is all india radio!
———–
nurse: [...]
these two tourists were on a safari and they came upon this tribe there are called the kafarwe tribe they jump up i the long grass and shout where the ka - far - we
two sperms were swimming along and one said to the other ” how far to the ovary” the other one repiled “miles were only passing the tonsells”
Well some told me that
u cant touch your teeth with your tounge
heres my comments and concerns :
1. Your a big idiot you tryed it right now, knowing that u can do it.
2. Your smiling right now
3. Now your smiling and giggling and making that little laugh
4. you keep on reading this joke
5. Now you stopped [...]
Your Mama so ugly….
She enter an ugly contest and they said “Sorry no professionals”
A duck walks into a feed store and asks, ”Got any duck feed?”
The clerk tells him, ”No, we don’t have a market for it it so we don’t carry it.”
The duck says, ”Okay” and leaves. The next day, the duck walks in to the feed store and asks, ”Got any duck feed?”
Again the clerk says [...]
Three mice were sitting in a bar talking about how tough they were.
The first mouse slams a shot and says, “I play with mouse traps for fun. I’ll run into one on purpose and as it is closing on me, I grab the bar and bench press it twenty or thirty times.” And with that [...]
A Blonde airhead goes for a job interview in an office.
The interviewer starts with the basics.
“So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?”
The blonde counts carefully on her fingers for half a minute before replying “Ehhhh… 22!”
The interviewer tries another straightforward one to break the ice.
“And can you tell us your height, please?”
The young [...]
Tech Support: “What does the screen say now.”
Person: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support: “Well?”
Person: “How do I know when it’s ready?”
A lawyer named ‘Strange’ was shopping for a tombstone. After he had made his selection, the stonecutter asked him what inscription he would like on it.
”Here lies an honest man and a lawyer,” responded the lawyer.
”Sorry, but I can’t do that,” replied the stonecutter. ”In this state, it’s against the law to bury two people [...]
