The teacher walked into the classroom to find the word “penis” chalked in small letters on the board. She was a bit embarrassed, so she didn’t say anything, but rubbed it out and went on with the class.
But the next day when she came in, she found the same thing again - “penis”, this time [...]
Ben invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn’t help noticing how beautiful Ben’s roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between Ben and his roommate and this only made her more curious.
Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if [...]
Grandma and Grandpa were visiting their kids overnight.
When Grandpa found a bottle of Viagra in his son’s medicine cabinet, he asked about using one of the pills.
The son said: “I don’t think you should take one Dad, they’re very strong and very expensive.”
“How much?” asked Grandpa.
“$10.00 a pill,” Answered the son.
“I don’t care:” said Grandpa, [...]
An elderly woman went into the doctor’s office. When the doctor asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken aback, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Smith, but you’re 75 years old. What possible use could you have for birth control pills?”
The [...]
What did one fag say to the other fag in the bar? Can I push your stool?
Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote “Help” on the bottom of the groom’s left shoe and “Me” on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for his vows, the entire congregation saw it. Of course, this will only work if he must kneel with back to congregation [...]
An army Major visits the sick soldiers, goes up to one private and asks -
“What’s your problem, Soldier?”
“Chronic syphilis, Sir!”
“What treatment are you getting?”
“Five minutes with the wire brush each day, Sir!”
“What’s your ambition?”
“To get back to the front lines, Sir!”
“Good man!” says the Major.
He goes to the next bed.
“What’s your problem, Soldier?”
“Chronic piles, Sir!”
“What [...]
Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.
–Robin Williams
One day a blonde, brunette, and redhead were on top of a burning building. When the firemen got there they stretched the trampoline out and told the brunette to jump. She jumped, then the firemen moved back and she died.
Then they moved back and told the redhead to jump. She said ”No! I saw what [...]
1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.
3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area.
4. The cat’s exhausted from just watching you.
5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bed springs.
6 You’ve both gone down one clothing size.
7. [...]
The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.
“We’ve been trying for months now, doctor, and I don’t seem to be able to get pregnant,” she confessed miserably.
“I’m sure we´ll solve your problem,” the doctor reassured her.
“If you’ll just take [...]
Who is the most popular guy at the nudist colony?
The guy who can carry a cup of coffee in each hand and adozen donuts.
A 70 year old man went to his doctor’s office to get a sperm count. The doctor gave the man a jar and said, “Take this jar home and bring me back a sample tomorrow.” The next day the 70 year old man reappears at the doctor’s office and gives him the jar, which is [...]
At a local college dance, a guy from America asked the girl from Sweden to dance.
While they were dancing, he gives her a little squeeze, and says, “In America, we call this a hug”.
She replies, “Yaah, in Sveden, we call it a hug too.”
A little later, he gives her a peck on the cheek, and [...]
A worried father confronted his daughter one night. “I don’t like that new boyfriend, he’s rough and common and bloody stupid with it.”
“Oh no, Daddy,” the daughter replied, “Fred’s ever so clever, we’ve only been going out nine weeks and he’s cured me of that illness I used to get once a month.”
