A dumb Blonde died and went to Heaven. When she got to the Pearly Gates, she met St. Peter who said, “Before you get to come into Heaven, you have to pass a test.”
“Oh, No!” she said, but St. Peter said not to worry he’d make it easy.
“Who was God’s son?” said St. Peter.
The dumb [...]
Once a blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, “I’ve kidnapped you.”
She then wrote a note saying, “I’ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put [...]
Q: Why do blondes have square breasts?
A: Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box!
Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite wine?
A: “Daddy! can I go to Miami!
Q: How do you change a blonde’s mind?
A: Blow in her ear.
Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?
A: There are some [...]
Once two sisters , a blonde and a brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they fall in financial crisis. In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull so that they can breed their own stock. brunette balances their checkbook, then takes their [...]
Three blonds were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.
The first blond said “those are deer tracks”.
The second blond said “no, those are elk tracks”.
The third blond said “you’re both wrong, those are moose tracks.”
The three blonds were still arguing when the train hit them.
a young blonde women were playing golf at a foggy par three, and could see the flag, but not the green. Each hit their ball anyway. When they walked to the green, they discovered one ball about three feet from the cup, while the other ball somehow had gone directly in.
The blondes tried to figure [...]
A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
“Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?”
The blonde [...]
A blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out.
When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said: “There’s no [...]
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver’s License?
A: Because she got an F in sex.
Q: Why can’t blondes put in light bulbs?
A: They keep breaking them with the hammers.
Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios?
A: “Oh look! Donut seeds!”
Q: What’s the quickest way to [...]
There was this blonde applying for a job and saw a sign that said needed for paint job, Come here. So she went to the house and knocked on the door.
She said,I’m here for the paint job;and the guy said,Ok.Here’s the paint I want you to paint the porch.
She said, No Problem, and set off [...]
She was soooo blonde… she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store. she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death. she sold the car for gas money. she studied for a blood test and failed. she thought a quarterback was a refund. she thought Boyz II Men was a daycare [...]
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, “Wanna hear a blonde joke?”
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, you should know something.”
Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I’m a 6? tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me [...]
The young blonde bride made her first appointment with a gynecologist and told him that she and her husband wished to start a family.
“We have been trying for months now, doctor, and I don’t seem to be able to get pregnant,” she confessed miserably.
“I am sure we will solve your problem,” the doctor reassured her.
“If [...]
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?A: You can park in the handicap zone. Q: What was the blonde psychic’s greatest achievment?A: An IN-body experience!Q: What’s a blonde’s favorite nursery rhyme?A: Humpme Dumpme. Q: How do you make a blonde’s eyes light up?A: Shine a flashlight in their ear. Q: Why should [...]
Two blondes were recently observed in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their Mercedes with a coat hanger. Here is their dialogue:
Blonde One: I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!Blonde
Second Blonde: Well, you’d better hurry up and try harder! it’s starting to rain, and the top is down!
