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“I’m glad you all recovered from the president’s press conference last night.  Did you see that press conference? I don’t want to say there’s nothing new there, but at one point the closed captioning actually said ‘blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.’ …The president was so subdued and there were so many long pauses, the Washington [...]

“I read that the president was interrupted 73 times by applause and 75 times by really big words.”

“According to the Associated Press, there’s a rumor that Saddam Hussein is now hiding weapons in schools. When asked why, Saddam said, because a school is the last place President Bush will look.”

“A lot of students around the country protested the war today. The National Youth and Student Peace Coalition sponsored an anti-war organization called ‘Books Not Bombs.’ President Bush’s response: ‘Why do you want to drop books on them?’”

I am Saddam. Saddam I am. I am the ruler of Iraq, The country that you would attack. You are Bush. Bush you are. The fame of you has spread afar. You do not like me, Bush, I know. You would not like me in a show. You would not like me in the snow. [...]

“We’re going to have the best educated American people in the world.” – Governor George W. Bush

“We have a firm commitment to NATO, we are a part of NATO. We have a firm commitment to Europe. We are a part of Europe.” – Governor George W. Bush

“A British doctor says ‘Medicine in my country is so advanced that we can take a kidney out of one man put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks.’ A German doctor says, ‘That’s nothing, we can take a lung out of one person put it in another and have [...]

“Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teaches our children.” – Governor George W. Bush

G. W. Bush, Tony Blair and a couple of other people are having a dinner at White House. Bush and Blair are talking and talking until on of the other guests is asking G.W. Bush: “What are you talking about?” Bush: “We are planning World War III”. The guest: “So what exactly are you planning?” [...]