Computer dictionary part i
BIT – A word used to describe computers, as in “Our daughter’s computer cost quite a bit.” BOOT – What your friends give you because you spend too much time bragging about your computer skill. BUG – What your eyes do after you stare at the tiny green computer screen for more than 15 minutes. [...]
5 secrets to romantic happiness
5 secrets to romantic happiness 1. It is important to find a man who works around the house, cooks and cleans and who has a job. 2. It is important to find a man who makes you laugh. 3. It is important to find a man who is dependable and doesn’t lie. 4. It is [...]
You so ugly
You so ugly when you were a baby, ya mama had to tie a pork chop around your neck just so that the dog would play with you.
12 days of christmas – aol style
On the twelfth day of AOL those buttheads gave to me, 12 reasons to cancel, 11 channels not working, 10 hours without mail, 9 frozen chat rooms, 8 hours of busy signals, 7 frozen IMs, 6 disconnections, 5 web crashes, 4 idiots at tech help, 3 error messages, 2 pieces of junk mail, and a [...]
You’re so stupid
You’re so stupid you tried to steal a free sample.
A son’s love
Only in Ireland An old man lived alone in Ireland. He wanted to dig his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison for bank robbery. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament. Shortly, he received this reply, [...]
A day on the bus
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, “That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen.” In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and [...]
A talk with god
Einstein climbs to the top of Mt. Sinai to get close enough to talk to God. Looking up, he asks the Lord… “God, what does a million years mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A minute.” “Einstein asks, “And what does a million dollars mean to you?” The Lord replies, “A penny.” Einstein asks, “Can [...]
Bad memory
One elderly couple is visiting another for supper. The two women go into the kitchen for a moment, leaving the men to talk. One of the men says to the other, “The Mrs. and I went to the nicest restaurant last night.” “Is that right?” the other inquires, “What was it called?” “That’s just it,” [...]
Idiot
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?
