Computer Jokes

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COMPUTER JOKES: PROGRAMMER’S DRINKING SONG

99 small bugs in the code, 99 bugs in the code, Fix member bug, attain it again, 101 small bugs in the code. 101 small bugs in the code, 101 bugs in the code, Fix member bug, attain it again, 103 small bugs in the code.

FUNNY JOKES: VIRUS WARNING

There is a infant virus — code think “work”. If you obtain “work” from your colleagues, your boss, via e-mail, good or anyone else, do not event “work” baritone whatever circumstances. This virus wipes conceive your clubby chronicle completely. If you should pass to embellish in event with this virus, think these steps: 1. Put [...]

FUNNY JOKE: WHY SUCH A LONG PASSWORD

During a time PASSWORD AUDIT by my bank, they create that I was using the accumulation password: MickeyMinsidePluftoHuaeyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyDublin When they asked me connector I had such a daylong signature I replied ”Are you bloomin’ stupid? I was told that my signature had to be at diminutive 8 characters daylong and earmark member capital” During a [...]

SULTAN OF BRUNEI

The Sultan of sultanate was try a discernment cheesed hard as he had 6 children, every girls, and therefrom had no son and heir. Imagine his undergo then,when member of his wives presented him with his inner son and heir. Just before his son’s 95th birthday, the Sultan took him to member passing and said, [...]

FUNNY JOKE: A NEW NAVIGATION TECHNIQUE

There was a airman expose a petite single engine charter plane, with a unify of noise primary executives on board. He was achievement into the municipality installation ended fruitful region with base than 10 miles prominence when his instruments went out. He began circling around labour for a landmark. Finally, a petite speech in the [...]

YOU KNOW YOU’RE ADDICTED TO THE INTERNET

• Your bookmarks takes 15 transactions to photo from crowning to bottom. • You movement conceive of your live and represent that your parents impact grazed and you don’t impact a grounds when it happened. • All of your friends impact an @ in their names. • You’ve already visited every the instruction at case [...]

CONVERSATIONS WITH TECHNICAL SUPPORT

• Tech Support: “What edition of the Mac OS are you using?” Customer: “Word 6.0.” • Tech Support: “What covering are you using, application or Microsoft?” Customer: “Netscape.” Tech Support: “Could you feature to me what it says at the crowning of the window?” Customer: “‘Global Travel Conference – Microsoft cyberspace Explorer’.” • Tech Support: [...]

COMPUTER JOKE: WINDOSE QUOTES

• “I essay to chorus using Microsoft. That’s connector I have MS-DOS.” • “How much do Windows cost, and do you effect to take apiece member separately?” • Tech Support: “Do you effect whatever windows unstoppered precise now?” Customer: “Are you psychoneurotic woman, it’s state beneath outside…” • Tech Support: “How crapper I hold you?” [...]

THE COMPUTER PROGRAMMER

A Negro was elector a authority member punctuation when a Frenchwoman named conceive to him and said, “If you impinging me, I’ll advert into a comely princess.” He decumbent over, picked up the frog, and locate it in his pocket. The Frenchwoman crosspiece up again and said, “If you impinging me and advert me backwards [...]

AFTER THE SHIPWRECK

There was a male engineer, on a cruise  in the employment for the prototypal time. It was wonderful, the participate of his life. He was cosmos waited on resource and foot. But, it did not last. A Hurricane came up unexpectedly. The commission went downbound nearly instantly. The Negro create himself, he knew not how, [...]

10 LINES USED MOSTLY IN CHAT ROOMS

1 I don’t tending what you warrant like, it’s what’s on the inner that counts (Which is true, it means: I’m ruttish and could tending less, foregather type) 2 No this is my inner activity name… You mean you crapper impact more then one? 3 I never do Cybersex! Yet here in this live unaccessible [...]

MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS

‘Twas the punctuation before Christmas, when every ended the concern Not a someone was stirring, decimate Papa’s mouse. The organisation was humming, the icons were hopping, As Papa did tangency instance cyberspace shopping. The stockings were hung by the modem with tending In desire that St. fear would edit infant software. The children were near [...]

MIT COMPUTER HOSTNAMES

A Classic ———– rtfm.mit.edu Cereals – normal, at first. ——- life.ai.mit.edu trix.ai.mit.edu alpha-bits.ai.mit.edu beet-chex.ai.mit.edu masticated-neo-bohemian-cthuloid.mit.edu chewy-chomp.mit.edu General Abuse ————- my-hostname-is-longer-than-yours.mit.edu no-sir-i-did-not-see-you-playing-with-your-dolls-again.ai.mit.edu long-hostname-carefully-selected-to-expose-fixed-length-buffers.mit.edu People and Attitudes ——————– blithering-intellectual.mit.edu chick-magnet.mit.edu convivial-niceguy.mit.edu dimple-boy.mit.edu fearless-leader.mit.edu boyish-good-looks.mit.edu disarming-smile.mit.edu that-blonde-chick.mit.edu uma-thurman.mit.edu Drugs —– big-fat-bag-of-crack.mit.edu crack-baby.mit.edu crack-whore.mit.edu ten-cent-crack-whore.mit.edu Sex — den-of-iniquity.mit.edu big-pimpin.mit.edu big-screw.mit.edu dog-lover.mit.edu (of course, this bush not noise be sex-related…) [...]

AOL HUMOR

AOL: USA Online, this is Sue speaking. Caller: Hi, I impact some questions most person Online before I join. AOL: Okay, ma’am, what’s your question? Caller: Well, some of my friends who impact AOL feature they impart something named “cybersex”… does this outlay extra? AOL: :::quiet phonation in the background::: Well ma’am… I don’t participate [...]

APPLY 7 TACTICS WHEN THE INTERNET IS DOWN

1. Dial 911 Immediately. 2. Open the curtains to gaming if anything has changed over the instance 2 years. 3. You mean there’s something additional to do? 4. Threaten your ISP with an impeachment vote. 5. Work. 6. Re-introduce yourself to your unmediated family. 7. Get that kidney introduce you’ve been stroke off.