Category Archives: Computer Jokes

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Bill Gates picks his own punishment

Posted on June 8, 2009 by jokes

Satan greets him: “Welcome Mr. Gates, we’ve been waiting for you. This will be your home for all eternity. You’ve been selfish, greedy and a big liar all your life. Now, since you’ve got me in a good mood, I’ll … Continue reading →

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If Only Life Could Be Like A Computer

Posted on May 17, 2009 by jokes

If you messed up your life, you could press “Ctrl, Alt, Delete” and start all  over!To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.Hit “any key” to continue life when … Continue reading →

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Your Cat Has Learned Your Internet Password

Posted on May 14, 2009 by jokes

10. E-mail flames from some guy named “Fluffy.” 9. Traces of kitty litter in your keyboard. 8. You find you’ve been subscribed to strange newsgroups like alt.recreational.catnip. 7. Your mouse has teeth marks in it… and a strange aroma of … Continue reading →

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What if Operating Systems Were Airlines

Posted on March 1, 2009 by jokes

UNIX Airways Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed … Continue reading →

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New Win98 Error Codes

Posted on February 22, 2009 by jokes

The Latest Report on Windows98: New Error Codes Assigned Winerr 000 – Unexpected Intelligent User Detected; Please Reload Everything Winerr 001 – Intimidation Failed; Attempting to Crash Repeatedly Winerr 002 – Erroneous Error; No Error Occurred (Yet) Winerr 003 – … Continue reading →

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Microsoft Husbands

Posted on February 20, 2009 by jokes

Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself. The second was in … Continue reading →

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Error Messages

Posted on February 16, 2009 by jokes

Microsoft is trying to add some humor to its error messages in Windows 2000 and up. Here are a couple of examples: * Printer not responding; Got a pen and paper handy? * 3 things are certain in life: Taxes, … Continue reading →

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Crazy Times Virus

Posted on February 15, 2009 by jokes

If you receive an email entitled “Crazy Times” delete it immediately. Do not open it! Apparently this one is pretty nasty. 1) It will not only erase everything on your hard drive, but it will also delete anything on disks … Continue reading →

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Technical Support Required

Posted on February 14, 2009 by jokes

Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Ring… Thank you for calling Technical Support. All of … Continue reading →

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Computer Heaven and Hell

Posted on February 14, 2009 by jokes

Computer Heaven and Hell In computer heaven the management is from Intel, the design and construction is done by Apple, the marketing is done by Microsoft, IBM provides the support, and Gateway determines the pricing. In computer hell the management … Continue reading →

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