There were 4 guys sitting in a bar. One of them decided to play a little game about what each of them thought was the fastest thing in the world.
Well the first guy says, “I think a Concord Jet is the fastest thing in the world, because it can go faster than the speed of [...]
A little guy is sitting at the bar just staring at his drink for half an hour when this big trouble-making biker steps next to him, grabs his drink, gulps it down in one swig and then turns to the guy with a menacing stare as if to say, ‘What’cha gonna do about it?’
The poor [...]
A woman reporter is driving a jeep in the desert. She sees a Captain in the French Foreign Legion pulling and tugging on a camel, but the camel won’t budge.
The woman stops and says,
“Captain! Do you need some help with the camel?”
The legionarie tells her the camel won’t budge but she’s welcome to try.
The reporter [...]
What do a Blonde and KFC have in common?
After your done with the breast and the thigh all you have left is a greasy bucket to stick your bone into.
A momma mole, papa mole, and baby mole lived in a hole outside of a farmhouse in the country.
One day, the papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmmmm, I smell sausage!”
The momma mole poked her head outside of the hole and said, “Mmmmm, I smell pancakes!”
The baby mole tried to [...]
Did you know that elephants actually have their sexual organs in their feet?
Yup, if one steps on you, you’re screwed.
Mom cooked venison (deer meat) for supper. The kids, Johnny and Susie, thought it was delicious, but didn’t know what it was.
“What is this, Mom?” asked Susie.
Mom replied, “You’ll have to guess. But I’ll give you a clue. It’s what I call your father sometimes.”
Johnny yells, “Spit it out sis! It’s asshole! It’s asshole!”
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your [...]
On a man’s 33rd birthday he gets a package at the Post Office and goes to collect it.
At the counter the woman brings his package to him, and the man says, “It’s my birthday today.”
“Oh, happy birthday, how old are you?”, asks the Post Office worker.
“33.”, says the man.
“Well, have a good day.”, says the [...]
A guy walked into a bar one day and noticed a jar full of money on the counter.
He asked the bartender what it was for and the bartender replied that if he could go into the back and make the donkey laugh, he could have that jar of money.
So the guy walks in the back [...]
I see a guy sitting outside a place called “Suzy’s Legs” and I ask “What are ya doing?”
He responds “Waiting for Suz’s legs to open so I can get a drink.”
Did you know deer nuggets are cheaper than chicken nuggets?
Chicken nuggets are $1.49 but deer nuggets are under a BUCK…
Q: What is green, fury, and smells like pork?
A: Kermitt the Frog’s fingers.
Joe and John were identical twins.
Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself.
One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it.
He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all [...]
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow.
The horse falls into a mud hole and was sinking.
He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found. So he drives the farmers mercedes back to [...]
