Category Archives: Animals jokes

A dog walks into a butcher shop, spends a number of minutes looking at the meat on display, and eventually indicates with a nod of his head and a bark that he would like some lamb chops. The butcher, thinking … Continue reading →

A man was driving along a freeway when he noticed a chicken running along side the road, beside his car. He was amazed to see that the chicken was keeping up with him. Glancing down at his speedometer, he noticed … Continue reading →

A man follows a woman out of a movie theatre. She has a dog on a leash. He stops her and says, “I’m sorry to bother you, but I couldn’t help but notice that your dog really seemed to be … Continue reading →

A man walks into a pub and sits down next to a man with a dog at his feet. “Does your dog bite?” “No.” A few minutes later the dog takes a huge chunk out of his leg. “I thought … Continue reading →

A young boy, about eight years old, was at the store picking out a large box of laundry detergent. The grocer walked over and, trying to be friendly, asked the boy if he had a lot of laundry to do. … Continue reading →

An American and his Czechoslovakian friend were out walking in the forest. They rounded a corner and right in front of them stood a giant grizzly bear. Before they could make a move, the bear jumped up and ate the … Continue reading →

man brought a very limp dog into the veterinary clinic. As he lay the dog on the table, the doctor pulled out his stethoscope, placing the receptor on the dog’s chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his … Continue reading →

A farmer from Texas goes to Australia on vacation. There he meets an Australian farmer and gets talking. The Australian shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice … Continue reading →

Three racehorses standing around started arguing. The first said, “I’ve won 15 out of 20 of my races!” The second said, “Yeah, well I’ve won 29 out of 30 of my races!” The third said, “Yeah, well I’ve won 39 … Continue reading →

A famous art collector is walking through the city when he notices a mangy cat lapping milk from a saucer in the doorway of a store. He does a double take, as he notices that the saucer is extremely old … Continue reading →