Entertainment Blog

Bar jokes, humour in bar

A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on [...]

A nun in full black habit is walking past a bar when a drunk stumbles out, sees her, and punches her square in the nose. Before she can scream, he lands a sloppy one-two and an uppercut. When she goes down, he starts kicking her with his scuffed business shoes. As a crowd gathers, the [...]

A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could buy him a drink. “Why of course,” comes the reply. The first man then asks, “Where are you from?” “I’m from Ireland,” replies the second man. The first man responds, “You don’t say, I’m from Ireland too! Let’s [...]

Two pieces of string walk into a bar and the bartender looks at them suspiciously. He says “Sorry, boys, we don’t serve your kind here.” So the pieces of string walk out again. They’re sitting in the gutter outside and feeling really thirsty when one piece of string says “Hey! I’ve got an idea to [...]

Three guys are in a bar on the top of a cliff. The first guy says to the other guys “You know, if had just one more beer, I reckon I could fly.” The second guy says “No Way!” So the first guy orders a beer and drinks it. Then all three guys walk out [...]

A guy goes into the bar with a carrot in his ear. He orders a drink. The bar tender wants to mention the carrot but decides against it. On the next day, the same guy with a carrot in his ear goes to the same bar and orders a drink. Again, the bar tender wants [...]

Three vampires walk into a bar and sit down at a table. The waitress comes over and asks the first vampire what he would like. The first vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.” The waitress turns to the second vampire and asks what he would like. The vampire responds, “I vould like some blood.” [...]

A man walked into a bar and ordered a glass of white wine. He took a sip of the wine, then tossed the remainder into the bartender’s face. Before the bartender could recover from the surprise, the man began weeping. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I’m really sorry. I keep doing that to bartenders. I can’t [...]

A seaman meets a pirate in a bar. The two men take turns boasting of their adventures on the high seas. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg-leg, hook, and an eyepatch. He asks, “So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?” The pirate replies, “We were in a storm at sea, [...]

There’s a guy sitting at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half an hour. Soon, a big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, “Come on man, I [...]