Ugly Kid
A lady gets on a train with her baby. A guy sitting across from her looks at the baby and starts laughing hysterically. He says, “Lady, that’s the ugliest kid I’ve ever seen. It looks like a monkey. What an ugly kid.” The lady freaks out, and goes running into the next car sobbing uncontrollably. [...]
Doggie fashion
It has been studied and determined that the most often used Sexual position for married couples is the doggie position. The husband sits up and begs… And the wife rolls over and plays dead.
Jock vs. nerd
Is It Better To Be a Jock or a Nerd? $ Michael Jordan having “retired,” with $40 million in endorsements, makes $178,100 a day, working or not. $ If he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52,000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. $ If he goes to see a [...]
Baseball heaven
There were two old guys, Abe and Sol, sitting on a bench in a park feeding pigeons and talking about baseball, just like they did every day. Abe turns to Sol and says, “Do you think there’s baseball in heaven?” Soloman thinks about it for a minute and replies, “I dunno, Abe. But let’s make [...]
Ncaa ballers to change a lightbuld?
How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
Ears lookin at you!
A man with no ears is trying to find a new reporter for their news show. The first candidate walks in, and the boss says, “This job requires you to notice a lot of details. What is one thing you notice about me?” The guy says, “Well damn! You got no ears man!” So the [...]
Men and blondes
Why do men prefer blondes? Men always like intellectual company.
Men at 35..
A woman of 35 thinks of having children. What does a man of 35 think of? Dating children.
Black widow spiders
Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating? To stop the snoring before it starts.
Seconds to live
Man walks into the Doctors office. “I have the results of your test and I’m afraid your going to die” Says the Doctor. The Man asks “How long do I have to live?” “Ten”, replies the Doctor. “What the hell does that mean”, the Man asks. “Ten Years, Ten Months, Ten weeks, What?” The Doctor [...]
