Fry-days

Q.  How does an Easter chicken bake a cake?

From scratch

Q.    What did the eggs do when the light turned green?

They egg-cellerated

Q.  What kind of plants do eggs keep?

Eggplants!

Q.  What do you call an egg from outer space?

An Egg-stra terrestial

Q.  Why do we paint Easter eggs?

Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!

Q.  Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor?

Rabbit De Niro!

Q.  What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a stressed person?

An Easter basket case!

Q.  Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?

Because he kept quacking all the eggs!

Q.  Why does Peter Cottontail hop down the bunny trail?

Because his parents wouldn’t let him borrow the car!

Q.  What do you call ten rabbits marching backwards?

A receding hareline

Q.  What do you call rabbits that marched in a long sweltering Easter parade?

Hot, cross bunnies

Q.  What do you call a sleeping egg?

Egg-zosted!

Q.  What do you call a rabbit with fleas?

Bugs Bunny

Q.  How do you know when you’re eating rabbit stew?

When it has hares in it

Q.  What does a rooster say to a hen he likes?

Your one hot chick!

Q.  Why are people always tired in April?

Because they’ve just finished a March

Q.  What kind of book does a rabbit like at bedtime?

One with a hoppy ending

Q.  What did the rabbit say to the carrot?

It’s been nice gnawing you.

Q.  What do you call a dumb bunny?

A hare brain

Q.  How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?

Just look for the grey hares

Q.  Why couldn’t the rabbit fly home for Easter?

He didn’t have the hare fare.

Q.  What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?

A funny bunny

Q.  What happened to the egg when he was tickled too much?

He cracked up.

Q.  Where do Easter Bunnies go for new tails?

To the re-tail store
jokes

Q. Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a good joke?
A.  It might crack up!

Q. How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
A.  Just look for the gray hares.

Q. What did one colored egg say to the other?
A.  Heard any good yolks lately?

Q. Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
A.  He was having a bad hare day!

Q. How many chocolate bunnies can you put into an empty Easter basket?
A.  Only one because after that, it’s not empty!

Q. How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
A.  With a hare dryer!

Q. How does the Easter bunny stay in shape?
A. Lots of eggs-ercise!

Q. What do you call a dumb bunny?
A. A hare brain.

Q. What’s the best way to catch a unique rabbit?
A.  Unique up on him.

Q. What kind of beans never grow in a garden?
A.  Jelly beans!

Q.  How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A.  Tame way, unique up on it.

Q. What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
A.  They lived hoppily ever after!

Q. What do you call a line of rabbits walking backwards?
A.  A receding hareline.

Q. How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
A.  Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?

Q.  What do you call a rabbit who tells jokes?
A.   A funny bunny.

Q. What is a rabbit’s favorite dance?
A.  The Bunny Hop.

Q. What kind of jewelry do rabbits wear?
A.  14 carrot gold.

Q. What do you call a rabbit with fleas?
A.  Bugs Bunny.

Q. Why did the Easter egg hide?
A.  He was a little chicken.

Q. How do rabbits say good-bye to carrots?
A. It’s been nice gnawing you!

Q:  How does a rabbit make gold soup?
A:  He begins with 24 carrots

Q:  What do you get when you cross a bunny with a spider?
A:  A harenet.

Q: How should you send a letter to the Easter Bunny?
A: By hare mail!

Q: What has big ears, brings Easter treats, and goes hippity-BOOM hippity-BOOM?
A: The Easter Elephant.

Q: How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
A: Hide in the bushes and make a noise like a carrot!

Q: What do you need if your chocolate eggs mysteriously disappear?
A: You need an eggsplanation!

Q: How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
A: With a hare dryer!

Q: What is a dog’s favorite Easter treat?
A: Jelly bones!

Q: How is the Easter Bunny like Michael Jordan?
A: They’re both famous for stuffing baskets!

Q: Did you hear about the farmer who fed crayons to his chickens?
A: He wanted them to lay colored eggs!

Q: What did one colored egg say to the other?
A: ‘Heard any good yolks lately!’

Q: What’s big and purple and hugs your Easter basket?
A: The Easter Barney!

Q: How does the Easter Bunny paint all of those eggs?
A: He hires Santa’s elves during the off-season.

Q: What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
A: They lived hoppily ever after!

Q: Who delivers Easter treats to all the fish in the sea?
A: The Oyster Bunny!

Q: What will the Easter Bunny be doing after Easter?
A: One to three for breaking and entering.

Q: Did you hear the one about the fifty-pound jelly bean?
A: It’s pretty hard to swallow!

Q: Did you hear the one about the Easter Bunny who sat on a bee?
A: It’s a tender tail!

jokes

Big tax write-off.

Consider all of the varieties: scrambled, over easy, hard boiled.

Because if it brought bottle rockets it would be the Independence Bunny.

Secret plan to eliminate human race by cholesterol overdose.

Pressure from the Egg Marketing Board.

Who ever heard of Easter Bricks?

Would you want to hunt for waffles?

Because the Energizer rabbit got the good job.

He thinks guys should get chicks at least once a year.

How do you post a bunny? Hare mail

Is it true that bunnies have good eyesight? Well you never see a bunny wearing glasses, do you?

What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote? One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny!

What did the grey rabbit say to the blue rabbit? Cheer up!

Why did the Easter egg hide? He was a little chicken!

Why did a fellow rabbit say that the Easter Bunny was self-centered? Because he was eggo-centric!

What do you get when you cross a bunny with an onion? A bunion

How does the Easter Bunny say Happy Easter? Hoppy Easter

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world? It has four rabbits’ feet

Why does the Easter bunny have a shiny nose? His powder puff is on the wrong end.

What did the bunny want to do when he grew up? Join the Hare Force.

What do you call a bunny with a large brain? Egghead!

What does a bunny use when it goes swimming? A hare-net.

How do you make a rabbit stew? Make it wait for three hours!

What do you get when you pour hot water down a rabbit hole? A hot cross bunny.
jokes

How many Easter eggs can you put in an empty basket?
Only one – after that it’s not empty any more!

How does the Easter Bunny stay fit?
EGG-xercise and HARE-robics!

What is the Easter Bunny’s favorite state capital?
Albunny, New York!

What’s the difference between a counterfeit dollar bill and a crazy rabbit?
One is bad money, the other is a mad bunny!

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Esther
Esther who?
Esther Bunny!

How does Easter end?
With the letter R!

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with an oversterssed person?
An Easter basket case!

What’s long and stylish and full of cats?
The Easter Purrade!

Why shouldn’t you tell an Easter egg a joke?
It might crack up!

What’s pink, has five toes, and is carried by the Easter Bunny?
His lucky people’s foot!

What’s yellow, has long ears, and grows on trees?
The Easter Bunana!

How can you tell where the Easter Bunny has been?
Eggs (X) marks the spot!

How did the Easter Bunny rate the Easter parade?
He said it was eggs-cellent!

Why is Easter like whipped cream and a cherry?
Because it’s always on a sundae!

How does the Easter Bunny travel?
By hare plane!

How does the Easter Bunny keep his fur neat?
With a hare brush!

What did the rabbit say to the carrot?
It’s been nice gnawing you!

How do you know carrots are good for your eyes?
Have you ever seen a rabbit wearing glasses?

How did the soggy Easter Bunny dry himself?
With a hare-dryer!

How does a rabbit keep his fur looking good?
With hare spray!

Why did the bunny go to the dance?
To do the bunny hop!

What kinds of books do bunnies like?
Ones with hoppy endings!

Why is a bunny the luckiest animal in the world?
Because it has four rabbit’s feet!

What did the rabbits do after their wedding?
Went on their bunnymoon!

Why was the Easter Bunny so upset?
He was having a bad hare day!

Why can’t a rabbit’s nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it would be a foot!

What happened when the Easter Bunny met the rabbit of his dreams?
They lived hoppily ever after!

Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
Because the chicken had his Easter eggs!

Why did the Easter Bunny cross the road?
To prove he wasn’t chicken!

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rabbit?
An elephant who never forgets to eat his carrots!

Why do we paint Easter eggs?
Because it’s easier than trying to wallpaper them!

What’s yellow, has long ears, and grows on trees?
The Easter Banana!

Who is the Easter Bunny’s favorite movie actor?
Rabbit De Niro!

Does the Easter Bunny like baseball?
Oh, yes. He’s a rabbit fan!

What has long ears, four legs, and is worn on your head?
An Easter bunnet!

Boy 1: “How did you get that bruise on your arm?”
Boy 2: “I ate some Easter candy.”
Boy 1: “Eating Easter candy won’t give you a bruise.”
Boy 2: “It will if it’s your big brother’s candy!”

Why does Peter Cottontail hop down the bunny trail?
Because his parents wouldn’t let him borrow the car!

What do you call a rabbit that tells good jokes?
A funny bunny!

What do you call a dumb bunny?
A hare brain!

How do you catch the Easter Bunny?
Hide in a bush and make a noise like a carrot!

Why did the Easter Bunny have to fire the duck?
Because he kept quacking all the eggs!

What’s soft and white and rolls down the bunny trail?
Peter Cottonball!

What does a Chinese restaurant serve for Easter?
Colored eggrolls!
Knock, knock…
Who’s there?
“Ether”!
“Ether” who?
“Ether” Bunny!

When one breeds an angora rabbit with an Easter Bunny is that a cross hair?
Altzheimer’s Advantage #2 :- You can hide your own Easter eggs.

Q. What’s invisible and smells like carrots?
A. The Ether Bunny

Q. What do Easter Bunny helpers get for making a basket?
A. Two points, just like anyone else.

Good Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Easter.
Bad Idea: Finding Easter eggs on Xmas.

Q. Why did the Easter Bunny hide his eggs?
A. He doesn’t want the other bunnies to know tht he was fooling around with the chickens.

Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body.

Do-It-Yourself Easter Kit: 2 boards, 3 nails, and a martyr!
jokes

“Impossible,” says the doctor. “Show me.”

She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams in agony. She pushes her knee and screams, pushes her ankle and screams and so it goes on, everywhere she touches makes her scream.

The doctor says, “You’re not really a brunette, are you?”

She says, “No, I’m really a blonde.”

“I thought so,” he says. “Your finger is broken.”
jokes

The blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”

Not wanting to argue with a customer, the flight attendant asked the co-pilot to speak with her. He went to talk with the woman asking her to please move out of the first class section. Again, the blonde replied, “I’m blonde, I’m beautiful, I’m going to New York, and I’m not moving.”

The co-pilot returned to the cockpit and asked the captain what he should do. The captain said, “I’m married to a blonde, and I know how to handle this.”

He went to the first class section and whispered in the blonde’s ear. She immediately jumped up and ran to the coach section mumbling to herself, “Why didn’t anyone just say so.”

Surprised, the flight attendant and the co-pilot asked what he said to her that finally convinced her to move from her seat.

The pilot replied, “I told her the first class section wasn’t going to New York.”

jokes

Eager to do well her first day on the job, she grabbed a large thermos and hurried to a nearby coffee shop.

She held up the thermos and the coffee shop worker quickly came over to take her order.

“Is this big enough to hold six cups of coffee?” the blonde asked.

The coffee shop worker looked at the thermos, hesitated a few seconds, then finally replied, “Yeah. It looks like about six cups to me.”

“Oh good!” the blonde sighed in relief. “I’ll have two regular, two black, and two decaf.”
jokes

The car keeps going back and forth, delaying traffic for miles until someone finally phones the police.

A police officer pulls the car over and approaches the window. A blonde rolls down the window. “Excuse me, ma’am, but is there any explanation for your reckless driving?” he says.

The blonde says, “Officer, I’m so glad you are here. There was a tree in the road, and I swerved. Then I saw another tree, and another, right in the middle of the road! So I had to swerve to keep from hitting them!”

The officer looks at her, then says, “Ma’am, that’s your air freshener.”
jokes

“Eleven”, she replies.

The sheriff thinks to himself, “Thats not what I wanted, but I guess she’s right!”

“What two days of the week begin with the letter T?” he asks.

“Today and Tomorrow”, the blonde answers.

The sheriff is again surprised that the blonde has supplied a correct answer that had not even occurred to him.

“Now listen carefully, who killed Abe Lincoln?” he asks her.

The blonde looks a little surprised. She thinks really hard for a minute and finally admits, “I don’t know.”

“Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?”

So, the blonde wanders over to the beauty parlor, where her pals are waiting to hear the results of the interview.

The blonde was exultant. “The interview went great!” she says. “First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”
jokes