Entertainment Blog » Bush Jokes

The Stupid George Bush

jokes — Thu, 13 Nov 2008 08:31:46 +0000

George Bush is so stupid, he’s still looking for a corner in his Oval Office.

Burning Bush

jokes — Thu, 06 Nov 2008 14:15:11 +0000

Thousands of people flock to the annual Burning Man festival in The Black Rock Desert north of Reno, Nevada.

At this big hippie festival, people run around naked, drink and do drugs, or as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for President.

A Worthy Charity

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:31:13 +0000

Dear kindhearted friends…

Now that the holiday season has passed, please look into your heart to help
those in need.

Enron executives in our very own country are living at or just below the
seven-figure salary level. And, as if that weren’t bad enough, they will be
deprived of it as a result of the bankruptcy and current SEC investigation.

But now, you can help! For only $20,835 a month, about $694.50 a day (that’s
less than the cost of a large screen projection TV) you can help an Enron
executive remain economically viable during his time of need. This contribution
by no means solves the problem, as it barely covers their per diem, …but it’s
a start!

Almost $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, but to an Enron exec it
could mean the difference between a vacation spent sucking ass in DC, golfing in
Florida or a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred dollars is nothing
more than rent, a car note or mortgage payments. But to an Enron exec $700 will
almost replace his per diem.

Your commitment of less than $700 a day will enable an Enron exec to buy that
home entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or
enjoy a weekend in Rio.

During a propaganda tour

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:30:09 +0000

During a propaganda tour, President Bush visits a school to explain his
Politics to kids. He invites the kids to ask him questions. Bobby stands Up and
tells him “Mr. President, I got 3 questions:”

1. How come, that although the count of votes was not in your favor, you Still
won the election?
2. Why do you want to attack Iraq without an imminent reason?
3. Don’t you also consider the bombing of Hiroshima the biggest terrorist
attack of all times?

Before the president can answer, the recess bell rings, and the kids leave the
room. After they came back, Bush invited them again to ask questions. Joey
stands up and tells him “Mr. President, I got 5 questions:”

The Report

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:29:27 +0000

(We now take you to the Oval Office with President Bush and Condoleezza Rice)

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What’s happening?

Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.

Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That’s what I want to know.

Condi: That’s what I’m telling you.

George: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow’s name.

Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.

Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!

Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya’ asking me for?

Condi: I’m telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I’m asking you. Who is leading China?

Condi: That’s the man’s name.

George: That’s who’s name?

Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of the new leader of China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought he was in the Middle
East.

Condi: That’s correct.

George: Then who is in China?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?

Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the new leader of China. Get
me the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone.

Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.

Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.

Condi: You don’t want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a glass of milk. And then
get me the U.N.

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?

Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?

Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!

Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me the guy at the U.N.

Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)

Condi: Rice, here.

George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls, too. Maybe we should send
some to the guy in China. And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the
Middle East?

Bush announced

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:28:41 +0000

“President Bush announced tonight that he believes in democracy and that
democracy can exist in Iraq. They can have a strong economy, they can have a
good health care plan, and they can have a free and fair voting. Iraq? We can’t
even get this in Florida.”

President Bush

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:27:51 +0000

“President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage war, and I’m thinking, well, hell, he didn’t need the approval of the American voters to become president, either.”

Domestic agenda

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:26:59 +0000

“In a speech earlier today President Bush said if Iraq gets rid of Saddam Hussein, he will help the Iraqi people with food, medicine, supplies, housing, and education – anything that’s needed. Isn’t that amazing? He finally comes up with a domestic agenda – and it’s for Iraq. Maybe we could bring that here if it works out.”

The president boasted

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:26:14 +0000

“The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you’re not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain.”

Osama bin Laden’s sons

jokes — Sat, 11 Oct 2008 10:25:14 +0000

“It was reported that two of Osama bin Laden’s sons were apprehended in Afghanistan, but President Bush is not gloating, he said he knows how embarrassing it is when your kids get arrested.”