You can’t bring that dog in this bar
A man goes to a bar with his dog. He goes up to the bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says “You can’t bring that dog in here!” The guy, without missing a beat, says “This is my seeing-eye dog.” “Oh man, ” the bartender says, “I’m sorry, here, the first one’s on [...]
April 11, 2010 / Comments Off / Read MoreA couple married thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, “Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here thirty years ago.” The guy stopped the car. His [...]
Continue reading …Little Johnny was in class again.Teacher asked everyone “Can anyone tell me a sentence with the word definitely in it?” Meg puts up her hand. “The sky isdefinitely blue.” “Thats not bad,Meg,” says the teacher, “but the sky can be grey or red.” Young Sally tried :”The grass is definitely green.” “Good try Sally,but grass [...]
Continue reading …1. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft it sank, proving once and for all that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too. 2. Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other [...]
Continue reading …While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.” His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”
Continue reading …While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ. “I’ll never understand,” he said to his wife, “why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives.” His wife replied, “Why, thank you, dear.”
Continue reading …REVOCABLE AT ANY TIME) NOTE – This application will be Incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. 1. NAME:_____________________ DATE OF BIRTH: _______________ 2. HEIGHT:___________ WEIGHT: ______IQ: ________GPA: ______ 3. SOCIAL SECURITY #: ___________DRIVERS LICENSE #: _________ 4. BOY SCOUT RANK:_______________________________________ 5. [...]
Continue reading …What’s the best form of birth control after 50? Nudity What’s the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? 45 lbs. What’s the difference between a boyfriend and a husband? 45 minutes. What’s the fastest way to a man’s heart? Through his chest with a sharp knife. Why do men want to marry virgins? They [...]
Continue reading …A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. [...]
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