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Marriage Counsellors – Cheating – Dividing

A couple whose marriage was going on the rocks sought the advice of a marriage counsellor. The counsellor pleaded with them to patch up their quarrel, but they were adamant. “So,” said the counsellor, “you know the consequences and you want to part. Remember this. You must divide your property equally.” The wife flared up. [...]

September 6, 2009 / Comments Off / Read More

Condoms · Condolence · Penis · Widows

September 6, 2009 Comments Off

Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I [...]

Sneaking Home

August 6, 2009 Comments Off

Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, “You know, I don’t know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we’ve been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. [...]

Write on the Bottom of Shoes

June 8, 2009 Comments Off

Someone once took a large black ink marker and wrote “Help” on the bottom of the groom’s left shoe and “Me” on the bottom of the right shoe. So when he knelt down for his vows, the entire congregation saw it. Of course, this will only work if he must kneel with back to congregation [...]

The Memorial

May 10, 2009 Comments Off

Two guys were out on the golf course. As one of them was teeing off at the 10th hole, which was next to the highway, he saw a funeral precession go by. Instead of teeing off, the guy removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed. The other guy [...]

Get Your Coat

March 4, 2009 Comments Off

A man comes in to the room and says to his wife, “I’m going to the pub. Get your coat on.” The wife, overjoyed that he has included her in his activity replies, “Does that mean that you are taking me with you, darling?” The husband replies, “No – I’m turning the heating off.

Family Team

March 4, 2009 Comments Off

Once A Welshman An English man and an Arabian were sitting in a bar. The Welshman said, “I’ve got fourteen children, one more and I’ll have a rugby team.” The Englishman said, “I’ve got ten children, one more and I’ll have a football team.” The Arabian said, “I’ve got seventeen wives, one more and I’ll [...]

Oliver Twist

February 22, 2009 Comments Off

A young couple had just returned from their honeymoon and were settling down in their new apartment. Coming home from work one night, the landlady met the man in the hallway. She said, “I have a couple of extra tickets to a play in town tonight, and I wonder if you and your bride would [...]

Microsoft Husbands

February 20, 2009 Comments Off

Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin? Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself. The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be. And the third [...]