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A husband is at home watching a football game when his Wife interrupts, “Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? Its been flickering for weeks now.” He looks at her and says angrily, “Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have a G.E. logo printed on my forehead? I dont think [...]

A man walks into a bar and orders a triple scotch. As the bartender pours the drink, he remarks, “Thats quite a heavy drink. Whats the problem?” After quickly downing his drink, the man replies, “I found my wife in bed with my best friend.” Wow,” says the barkeep., “What did you do about it?” [...]

Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can’t see each other using sign language). After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. “Honey,” she signs, “Why don’t [...]

A married couple was driving down the interstate doing 55 mph. The husband was behind the wheel. His wife looks over at him and says, “Honey, I know we have been married for 15 years, but I want a divorce.” The husband says nothing but slowly increases the speed to 60 mph. She then says, [...]

A couple married thirty years were revisiting the same places they went to on their honeymoon. Driving through the secluded countryside, they passed a ranch with a tall deer fence running along the road. The woman said, “Sweetheart, let’s do the same thing we did here thirty years ago.” The guy stopped the car. His [...]

A young husband with an inferiority complex insisted he was just a little pebble on a vast beach. The marriage counselor, trying to be creative, told him, “If you wish to save your marriage, you’d better be a little boulder.”

TO MY DEAR WIFE, During the past year I have tried to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of once every ten days. The following is a list of wyh I did not succeed more often: 54 times the sheets were clean. 17 times it was [...]

All marriages are happy–it’s the living together afterward that causes all the problems. Did you hear about the scientist whose wife had twins? He baptized one and kept the other as a control. Disclaimer: Even my wife doesn’t agree with everything I say, and she loves me dearly. My employers don’t love me nearly as [...]

A little boy, at a wedding looks at his mom and says, “Mommy, why does the girl wear white?” His mom replies, “The bride is in white because she’s happy and this is the happiest day of her life.” The boy thinks about this, and then says, “Well then, why is the boy wearing black?”