The doctor says to a man “I’m sorry, sir, but the test results have come back a tad inconclusive. Your wife could have either AIDs or Alzheimer’s. We’re not sure which”.
The man replies, “Oh my God! That’s awful! What should I do?”
The doctor says, “Take her down into the city centre and leave her there. [...]
Three Doctors are dicussing which types of patients they prefer. Doctor Watson says, ”I prefer librarians. All their organs are alphabetized.”
Doctor Fitzpatrick says, ”I prefer mathematicians. All their organs are numbered.”
Doctor Ahn says, ”I prefer lawyers. They are gutless, heartless, brainless, spineless, and their heads and rear ends are interchangeable.”
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
“A doctor?”
“And why’s that?”
“Because it’s the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill.”
Two children were sitting outside a clinic. One of them was crying very loudly.
2nd Child: Why are you crying?
1st Child: I came here for a blood test.
2nd Child: So? Are you afraid?
1st Child: No. For the blood test, they cut my finger.
At this, the second one started crying profusely.
The first one was astonished.
1st Child: Why [...]
During grammar school science experiements into properties of different alcohols:
The residue of each test was tipped down the sinks, which were grouped in threes. There were no U-bends, but each group of sinks emptied into a single box, which overflowed into the mains sewers. Presumably this was intended to retain things like droplets of mercury, [...]
A couple visits the doctor’s office for the checkup of the man. aftar the checkup, the doctor called
the wife alone in the office and days the “Your husband is suffering from a very severe stress disorder. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”
“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant [...]
An old lady goes to Dr. and says, “I have this problem with gas, but it really doesn’t bother me too much. The farts never smell and always silent. In fact, I’ve farted at least 20 times since I’ve been here, and I bet you didn’t even notice!”
The doctor says, “I see. Take these pills [...]
10 ways to get thrown out from chemistry lab
1. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it.
2. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?”
3. Mutter repeatedly, “Not again… not again… not again.”
4. Pretend an electron got stuck in your [...]
A Doctor to his patient. I have a very bad news and some of very bad news.
Patient: Well, give the the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have only 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 hours! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad news?
Doctor: I’ve been [...]
Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on.
The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”.
The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”.
The third surgeon said, “I like operating on [...]
The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy
1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth.
2. His restrooms are labeled “Bleeders” and “Non-Bleeders”
3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance.
4. Does an extensive search for cavities…dental and body.
5. He…ummm..licks his tools clean.
6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 out of 5 dentists surveyed line.
7. [...]
Her husband had been slipping in and out for a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day.
When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, “You know what?
You have been with me all through the bad times.
When I got fired, you [...]
The student - not necessarily a well-prepared student - sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper.
The question directed:
“Give four advantages of breast milk.”
What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble
whatever came into his head, hoping for the best:
1. No need to boil.
2. Cats can’t steal it.
3. [...]
A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, “Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.”
“Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives.
“For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,” replied the doctor.
Some of the younger male relatives tried to look shocked, [...]
Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?
A: To draw blood.
