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10 ways to get thrown out from chemistry lab 1. Begin pronouncing everything your immigrant lab instructor says exactly the way he/she says it. 2. Give a cup of liquid nitrogen to a classmate and ask, “Does this taste funny to you?” 3. Mutter repeatedly, “Not again… not again… not again.” 4. Pretend an electron [...]

A Doctor to his patient. I have a very bad news and some of very bad news. Patient: Well, give the the bad news first. Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have only 24 hours to live. Patient: 24 hours! That’s terrible! What could be worse? What’s the very bad [...]

Four surgeons were sitting around discussing who they like to operate on. The first surgeon said, “I like operating on librarians. When you open them up everything is in alphabetical order”. The second surgeon said, “I like operating on accountants. When you open them up everything is in numerical order”. The third surgeon said, “I [...]

The Top 10 Signs Your Dentist Is Crazy 1. Keeps trying to sell you extra teeth. 2. His restrooms are labeled “Bleeders” and “Non-Bleeders” 3. Pumps gas into the waiting room in advance. 4. Does an extensive search for cavities…dental and body. 5. He…ummm..licks his tools clean. 6. Gets mad when you mention that 4 [...]

Her husband had been slipping in and out for a coma for several months yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When [...]

The student – not necessarily a well-prepared student – sat in his life science classroom staring at a question on the final exam paper. The question directed: “Give four advantages of breast milk.” What to write? He sighed, and began to scribble whatever came into his head, hoping for the best: 1. No need to [...]

A patient needed a brain transplant and the doctor told the family, “Brains are very expensive, and you will have to pay the costs yourselves.” “Well, how much does a brain cost?” asked the relatives. “For a male brain, $500,000. For a female brain, $200,000,” replied the doctor. Some of the younger male relatives tried [...]

Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen? A: To draw blood.

A man goes to see the Rabbi. “Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it.” The Rabbi asked, “What’s wrong?” The man replied, “My wife is poisoning me.” The Rabbi, very surprised by this, asks, “How can that be?” The man then pleads, “I’m telling you, I’m certain she’s [...]

In Ireland there is a mental institution that every year picks two of it’s most reformed patients and questions them. If they get the questions right they are free to leave. This year the two lucky gents were Patty and Mike. They were called down to the office and left there by the orderly. They [...]