A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to see a gynecologist. The doctor takes one good look at this woman and his professionalism is a thing of the past. Right away he tells her to undress. After she has disrobed he begins to stroke her thigh.
As he does he says to the woman: “Do you know what [...]
The doctor says to a man “I’m sorry, sir, but the test results have come back a tad inconclusive. Your wife could have either AIDs or Alzheimer’s. We’re not sure which”.
The man replies, “Oh my God! That’s awful! What should I do?”
The doctor says, “Take her down into the city centre and leave her there. [...]
The minister dies and the congregation decides, after some time, that his widow, should marry again. Since it is a small village the only available candidate is the local butcher. Although very reluctantly, since she was used to living with a bible scholar, she accepts.
After the marriage, on Friday night just after taking a bath [...]
The was a man named George who got a new job. His fellow employees always met for a round of golf every Saturday. They asked George to meet them at 10:00 Saturday morning. George replied that he would love to meet them, but he may be 10 minutes late.
Next Saturday rolls around, and George says [...]
Late one night a couple is driving down a country highway and run over an oppossum.
Knowing that mother oppossums often carry babies in their pouch, they decide to check out this poor animal. Sure enough there was a baby, so they decide to rescue it.
They take it into the car and continue down the road. [...]
A man was summoned to court for punching his lawyer.
During the process, the Judge asked him to explain his actions.
“Your Honor,” replied the defendant, “that man represented me in a bitter divorce. One day he said my property settlement hearing was about to be held. The judge would decide that afternoon what I would get, [...]
A man took his wife to a Broadway show.
During the first intermission he had to attend to nature’s call in the worst way, so he hurried to find the bathrooms. He searched in vain for the bathrooms, but he finally found a beautiful fountain with foliage, and since nobody was watching, so he decided to [...]
Guy walks into a bar, sits down and has a beer. At this point the bartender leaves to take care of some business in the back. As he is about to take his first sip someone says,
“Hey thats a great coat!”
He turns around and to his surprise no one is there. He shrugs it off [...]
Two guys were out on the golf course. As one of them was teeing off at the 10th hole, which was next to the highway, he saw a funeral precession go by. Instead of teeing off, the guy removed his cap and placed it on his chest until the funeral had passed.
The other guy said, [...]
Ed finally decides to take a vacation. He books himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeds to have the time of his life- until the boat sank.
He found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no supplies… Nothing. Only bananas and coconuts.
After about four months, he is lying on [...]
A man and his wife were driving through country on his way from New York to California. Looking at his fuel gauge, he decided to stop at the next gasoline station and fill up. About 15 minutes later, he spots a Mobil station and pulls over to the high octane pump.
“What can I do for [...]
Did you hear about the woman who was married to a succession of three Microsoft employees and still died a virgin?
Her first husband was in Training, and kept teaching her how to do it herself.
The second was in Sales, and kept telling her how good it was going to be.
And the third was in Tech [...]
Driving styles…………..
One hand on steering wheel, one hand out of window
—-Sydney
One hand on steering wheel, one hand on horn
—-Japan
One hand on steering wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot
solidly on accelerator
—-Boston
Both hands on steering wheel, eyes shut, both feet on
brake, quivering in terror
—-New York
Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator,
head turned to talk to [...]
A stereotypical black guy steps out of the shower in a college
locker room. An Asian guy checks out his penis and says, “How come
yours is so huge? I would love to have one like that.”
The black guy laughs and says, “You can. Tie a heavy weight to it
for a couple of weeks. It’ll stretch and [...]
A man was seated next to a stiff-looking Baptist minister on a flight to Wichita. After the plane was airborne, the flight attendant came around for drink orders. The man asked for a whiskey and soda, which he got. The attendant then asked the minister if he would also like a drink.
The minister replied in [...]
