funny jokes:A Fisherman’s Tale
Two fellas are fishing in a boat under a bridge.
One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting across the bridge.
He stands up, takes off his cap, and bows his head.
The procession crosses the bridge and the man puts on his cap, picks up his rod and reel, and continues fishing.
The other guy says, “That [...]
funny jokes: 10 things in golf that sound dirty
1. Look at the size of his putter.
2. Oh, dang, my shaft’s all bent.
3. You really wacked the hell out of that sucker.
4. After 18 holes I can barely walk.
5. My hands are so sweaty I can’t get a good grip.
6. Lift your head and spread your legs.
7. You have a nice stroke, but your [...]
funny jokes: 10 Reasons Not To Jog
1. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 now & we don’t know where the heck she is.
2. The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
3. I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven’t lost [...]
funny jokes:Number One Sport
A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.
The guide told her, “This is our number one sport.”
The horrified woman said, “Isn’t that revolting?”
“No,” the guide replied, “revolting is our number two sport.”
funny jokes: New Bowling Rules
Supplemental Rules for Bowling
If you holler “overs!” before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the “overs”.
When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule “First [...]
A few Polish jokes
Q: Did you hear about the Polish guy that locked his keys in his car?
A: Took him an hour using a coat hanger to get his family out.
Q: Why do Polish dogs have flat noses?
A: From chasing parked cars.
Q: What did the Polish mother say when her daughter said she was pregnant?
A: “Are you sure [...]
Russian war college
At the Russian War College, the general is a guest lecturer and tells the class of officers that the session will focus on potential problems and the resulting strategies.
One of the officers in the class begins by asking the first question, “Will we have to fight a World War Three?”
“Yes, comrades, looks like you [...]
Jump out of the plane!
An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says,
“We’re having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump. At least one of [...]
The 10 commandments in ebonics
1. I be God. Don’ be dissin me.
2. Don’ be makin hood ornaments outa me or nothin in my crib.
3. Don’ be callin me for no reason - homey don’ play dat.
4. Y’all betta be in church on Sundee.
5. Don’ dis ya mama…an if ya know who ya daddy is, don dis him neither.
6. [...]
Merry christmas
One beautiful December evening Huan Cho and his girlfriend, Jung Lee, were sitting by the side of the ocean.
It was a romantic full moon, when Huan Cho said, “Hey baby, let’s play Weeweechu.”
“Oh no, not now, let’s look at the moon,” said Jung Lee.
“Oh, c’mon baby, let’s you and I play Weeweechu. I love [...]
I had a dream….
“Steve, I had a dream last night that we died and went to hell!”
“Damn Roy! What happened?”
“Well, we were miserable needless to say. I went searching for the devil to see if there was anything
that I could do to get out of there.”
“Go on Roy, what happened next?”
“I found the devil and begged and [...]
Five out of ten
If five out of every ten people suffer from diarrhea, does that mean the other five enjoy it?
Addicted to computers
Ten ways to know that you’re addicted to your computer:-
10) When you begin to laugh you yell, LOL.
9) You tell your computer you love it, more than you tell your husband or wife.
Your house catches on fire and you run home to save your computer before your family.
7) Your computer is your [...]
