She’s gotten amazingly good at typing one handed.
The fax file is filled with pictures of some guy’s behind.
Lately she sits at the computer naked.
After signing off, she always has a cigarette.
The giant rubber inflatable disk drive.
In the morning, the computer screen is all fogged up.
She makes sarcastic remarks about your “software”.
During sex she screams “A-colon [...]
It seems there was this couple from Minneapolis, Minnesota, who decided to go to Miami Beach for a few days to thaw out during one particularly cold winter.
The airlines have crazy frequent flyer rules, and the wife ended up on a flight the day after her husband.
The husband made it down to Florida and arrived [...]
John invited his mother over for dinner one evening. During the meal, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was.
She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious.
She watched the two of them interact over the course [...]
A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son. They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks, “What’s are these, Dad?”
To which the man matter-of-factly replies, “Those are called condoms, son. Men use them to have safe sex.”
“Oh I see,” replied the boys pensively. “Yes, I’ve heard of [...]
Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, ‘Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.’”
“Yeah?” she replies. “When you die, I’m getting you a headstone that reads, “Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.’”
With their 30th wedding anniversary approaching, Ron asks his wife, Sylvia, what she wants to celebrate the occasion.
“Would you like to have a new mink coat?” Ron asks.
“No, not really,” Sylvia responds.
“Well, how about a new Porche?” asks Ron.
“No, thanks,” Sylvia replies.
“What about a new vacation home in the country?” Ron suggests.
“No,” says Sylvia.
“Well, what [...]
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house.
He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. “I’m lost,” said the man. “Can you put me up for the night?”
“Certainly,” the Chinese man said, “but on one condition. If [...]
A wife arrived home and found her husband in bed with another woman.
With superhuman strength borne of fury, she dragged him out of the house, into the tool shed in their back yard and put his penis in a vice.
Securing it tightly and removing the handle of the vice, she then picked up a hacksaw.
Terrified, [...]
Rosemary had been divorced for a few years and was finding life very lonely.
Finally, after much persuasion, she consented to go out on a date with Andy, a gentleman her daughter fixed her up with.
Andy picked her up and they went to a very secluded spot to have a picnic.
Andy had also been divorced for [...]
He said… I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said…You wear briefs, don’t you?
He said… Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?
She said…Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.
He said… Since I first laid [...]
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife,”Mother of Six ” in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party. The man decides that it’s time to go home and wants to find out if his wife [...]
A student had spent all his money, so he called his mother from college and asked if she could send him some.
“Of course, I’ll send you some money, dear,” Mom said. “By the way, you left your calculus book here when you visited last month. Would you like me to send that to you too?”
“Ummmmm, [...]
A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor’s office. After his checkup, he doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, “Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don’t do the following, your husband will surely die.”
“Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and [...]
A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
“Why don’t you do that?” said the wife.
“Honey,” replied her husband, “I don’t even know that woman!
A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too.
He says to him, “Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes; mind if I ask how you got yours?”
The other guy [...]
