The teacher walked into the classroom to find the word “penis” chalked in small letters on the board. She was a bit embarrassed, so she didn’t say anything, but rubbed it out and went on with the class.
But the next day when she came in, she found the same thing again - “penis”, this time [...]
Sadie lost her husband almost four years ago and still has not gotten out of her depression, mourning as if it were only yesterday. Her daughter constantly is calling her and urging her to get back into the world. Finally, Sadie says she’d go out, but didn’t know anyone. Her daughter immediately replies, “Mama! I [...]
two sperms were swimming along and one said to the other ” how far to the ovary” the other one repiled “miles were only passing the tonsells”
Once a wolf and a stallion decided to fuck each other.
The wolf mounted the stallion and screws him, then says:
“Hey Stallion, please twirl your ass - I cannot come.”
The stallion twirled his ass, and the wolf came.
Then the stallion screws the wolf and cannot come too. He says:
“Wolf, please twirl your ass…”
“Twirl my ass?!.. I [...]
ONE DAY A BOY WAS TAKING A SHOWER WITH HIS MOTHER AND HE SAYS ”MOMMY WHAT ARE THOSE”? SHE REPLIES..”OH THOSE ARE MY HEAD LIGHTS”THE BOY THEN AGAIN ASKS ”MOMMY WHATS THAT”? SHE THEN REPLIES ”OH THATS MY GARDEN” THE BOY SAYS THANKS AND HOPS OUT OF THE SHOWER.
THE NEXT DAY THE BOY TAKES A [...]
What did the elephant say to the naked man?
“It’s nice, but can it pick up peanuts?”
it is 10:00 at the police station and there is only 2 officers working that day…Billy-Bob and Billi-Jo.
billy-bob: hey billi-jo…can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
…now its 11:00 at the police station…
billy-bob: hey billi-jo…can i stick my finger in your belly-button?
billi-jo: sure billy-bob! :>
…now its midnight… and the power goes out…!!
billy-bob: [...]
Q) What does a vibrator and soybeans have in common?
A)They are both meat substitutes!!!!
As the woman passed her daughter’s closed bedroom door, she heard a strange buzzing noise coming from inside her room.
Opening the door, she observed her daughter giving herself a real workout with a vibrator.
Shocked, she asked, “What in the world are you doing?” The daughter replied, “Mom, I’m thirty-five years old, unmarried, and this thing [...]
A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”
“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”
“Well, Husband 1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was [...]
A guy finally gets a date with an easy blonde. To prepare for the date he sunbathes in the nude on his roof, falls asleep and burns his manhood.
He doesn’t want to cancel so he slathers it with lotion and wraps it in gauze. The blonde shows up at his house, and he treats her [...]
It’s the Spring of 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date. He’s a pretty hip guy with his own car.
When he goes to the front door, the girl’s father answers and invites him in. “Carrie’s not ready yet. Why don’t you have a seat?”
Carrie’s father asks Bobby what they’re planning to do.
Bobby replies [...]
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become members of his church.
The minister said that they would have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and tell him how it went.
The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle aged and the final couple were [...]
A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a man who has a burlap sack and a little guy about a foot tall sitting on the bar playing a little piano.
The guy that walked into the bar asks the man, “What’s in the bag?”
The man pulls out a genie lamp.
The guy says, [...]
What’s the difference between light and hard?
You can go to sleep with the light on.
