Greatest gift from God
The greatest gift
I ever had
Came from God;
I call him Dad!
Relationship of father to son
If the relationship of
father to son could
really be reduced to biology,
the whole earth would blaze
with the glory of fathers and sons.
Happy father’s day.
Whose Dog?
A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, “Um, err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?”
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned [...]
Failed Dog Breeds
Dog Breeds that did not make it:
Deerhound + Terrier
Derriere, a dog that’s true to the end
Spitz + Chow Chow
Spitz-Chow, a dog that throws up a lot
Kerry Blue Terrier + Skye Terrier
Blue Skye, a dog for visionaries
Great Pyrenees + Dachshund
Pyradachs, a puzzling breed
Pekingnese + Lhasa Apso
Peekasso, an abstract dog
Irish Water Spaniel + English Springer Spaniel
Irish [...]
Meals on Wheels
Once upon a time, there was a cat who died. When she got to heaven, God asked her how she liked being on earth. She told the Lord that it was awful — she had to sleep in cold back alleys, where there was no food and life was hard. God told her that he [...]
3 Year Old Church
A mother took her three-year-old daughter to church for the first time.
The church lights were lowered, and then the choir came down the aisle, carrying lighted candles.
All was quiet until the little one started to sing in a loud voice, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you…
Curing Loyalty Problems
A woman was complaining to her neighbor that she suspected her husband was cheating on her because he always came home at extremely late hours.
The neighbor said, “Dear, try what I did. One night, when my husband came home at 3 a.m. I called out, ‘Is that you Jeffrey?’ He never came home late again.
“That’s [...]
funny jokes:Plenty of that where I come from…
Three men, an American, a Russian, and a Puerto Rican, are standing on a bridge. The Russian removes a bottle of vodka from his coat, takes a sip, and then throws the bottle over the bridge.
The Puerto Rican asks, “Why did you do that? That was perfectly good bottle of vodka!”
The Russian replies, “Theres plenty [...]
Heaven playing sports
St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.
“Very well,” said the gatekeeper of Heaven. “But you realize, I hope, that we’ve got all the good players and the [...]
Blow the Blonde’s
What did the blonde say when someone blew in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.
He is new to baseball
Coming home from his Little League game, Billy swung open the front door very excited. Unable to attend the game, his father immediately wanted to know what happened. “So, how did you do son?” he asked.
“You’ll never believe it!” Billy said. “I was responsible for the winning run!”
“Really? How’d you do that?”
“I dropped the ball.”
Computer jokes: YOU MIGHT BE A COMPUTER GEEK IF…
* At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burned out bulb in the string of Christmas lights.
* Choosing to buy flowers for your girlfriend or to spend the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma.
* Everyone else on the Alaskan Cruise is on deck gazing [...]
Computer jokes:12 Step Program Of Recovery For Web Addicts
1) I will have a cup of coffee in the morning and read my PAPER newspaper like I used to, before the Web.
2) I will eat breakfast with a knife and fork and not with one hand typing.
3) I will get dressed before noon.
4) I will make an attempt to clean the house, wash clothes, [...]
Computer Jokes: If Dr. Seuss was a technical writer
What if Dr. Seuss was a technical writer? Here are several examples of what he may write to help you resolve your computer problems.If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort, And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk [...]
