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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS:
40-ish………………………………………49Adventurous……………..Slept with all your matesAthletic………………………………..No t*tsAverage looking……………Has a face like an a*seBeautiful………………………Pathological liarContagious Smile………………Does a lot of pillsEmotionally Secure………………….On medicationFeminist…………………………………..FatFree spirit………………………………JunkieFriendship first……………………..Former sl*tFun……………………………………AnnoyingGentle……………………………………DullNew-Age……………………….Body hair problemsOpen-minded……………………………DesperateOutgoing……………………Loud and EmbarrassingPassionate…………………………Sloppy drunkPoet…………………………………DepressiveProfessional………………………………B*tchRomantic…………………………………FrigidVoluptuous……………………………..Very FatLarge lady……………………………Hugely FatWants Soul mate………………………….StalkerWidow…………………………………..Murderer

WOMEN’S ENGLISH
1. Yes = No2. No = Yes3. Maybe = No4. We need = I want..5. I am sorry = you’ll be sorry6. We need to talk = I need to complain7. Sure, go ahead = I don’t want you to8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!10. Are you listening to me? = Too late, you’re dead11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs13. You’re so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive15. It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now16. You’re certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?17. I’ll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you’re really not going to like

MEN’S ENGLISH
1. I am hungry = I am hungry2. I am sleepy = am sleepy3. I am tired = I am tired4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!5. I love you = Let’s have sex now6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?7. What’s wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question8. May I have this dance? = I’d like to have sex with you9. Can I call you sometime? = I’d like to have sex with you10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I’d like to have sex with you11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I’d like to have sex with you12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex with you13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you within the next 3 mins.14. Let’s talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I’d like to have sex with you.15. I don’t think those shoes go with that outfit = I’m gay