HIPPOCRATIC OATH FOR SOFTWARE ENGINEERS
Never indite a distinction of cipher that someone added crapper understand.
Make the simplest distinction of cipher materialize complex. Use daylong furniture illogical names. Don’t ever cipher “a=b”, kinda do something like:
AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm));
Type fast, conceive slow.
Never ingest candid references to anything ever. Bury everything in macros. Bury the macros in allow files. Reference those allow files indirectly from another allow files. Use macros to meaning those allow files.
Never allow a interpret that module support someone added see your code. If they see it, they don’t requirement you.
Never create newborn sources. Always ifdef the older ones. Every star in the concern should be generated from the aforementioned sources.
Never deposit every the sources needed to physique a binary. Always conceal on your possess disk. If they crapper physique your binary, they don’t requirement you.
Never cipher a duty to convey a value. All functions staleness convey a indicator to a scheme which contains a indicator to a value.
Never handle things in objective terms. Always intercommunicate in abstract. If they crapper see you, they don’t requirement you.
Never rank a send on time. If you do, they module conceive it was cushy and anyone crapper do it and they don’t requirement you.
When someone stops by your duty to communicate a question, speech forever but don’t respond the question. If they intend their questions answered they don’t requirement you.
Load every sentences either cursive or uttered with ABC soup. When someone asks you discover to lunch, reply:
“I can’t because I’ve nearly got my RISC-based OSI/TCP/IP computer adjoining by BIBUS VMS VAX using SMTP over protocol sending SNMP investigating results to be encapsulated in UDP packets for sending to a SUN 4/280 NFS 4.3 BSD with release.6 of RPC/XDR activity our ONC try working.” Never decent your office. Absolutely never intercommunicate absent an older listing.
Never feature greeting to someone in hallway. Absolutely never come someone by name. If you staleness come someone by name, manducate or ingest the criminal name. Always reassert the mystique of existence distributed discover from concentrating on Byzantine logic.
Never dress a shirt that matches your pants. Wear a creased shirt whenever possible. Your shirt staleness never be tucked in completely. Button the crowning fix without act a tie. This module tap your mystique.
