Obama Hymns

Barack Loves Thee

Barack loves Thee! This we know,
Katie Couric tells us so.
All our base to Him belong;
We are weak, but He is strong.

Yes, Barack loves Thee!
Yes, Barack loves Thee!
Yes, Barack loves Thee!
So do as you are told.

All Hail the Messiah

All hail the messiah Obama! Obama!
The path to the new socialist motherland!
Our savior, our savior Obama! Obama!
The leader more smarter than Lindsay Lohan!
Bow down and praise the One!
Give him your money and your guns!
Give us a country that makes your wife proud!
Lord Barry will heal the bitter ones!
Whites and Clinging to faith and guns!
Hope for the change of the hope of the change!

Holy, Holy, Holy

Holy, holy, holy! Obama Almighty!
On election day the dead will vote for Thee;
Holy, holy, holy, merciless and mighty!
The One now come in Person, for the DNC!

Holy, holy, holy! The MSM adores Thee,
Casting off their ethics and objectivity;
All of their reporters falling down before Thee,
They your willing servants evermore shall be.

Backwards Barack’s Soldiers

Backwards, Barack’s soldiers, retreat from the war,
With no preconditions going on before.
Barack, the new Commander, flees the ancient foe;
Leaves behind the battle, hear Him spinning go!

Pastor Wright and a Barack Obama arrived in Heaven at the same time. Saint Peter checked them both in and assigned them their rooms. “Pastor Wright, here is the key to one of our standard efficiency units. But for you, Mr. Obama, here’s the  key to the finest penthouse suite in Heaven.” “Why don’t I get a penthouse too? I’m a minister!” Pastor Wright complained. “Think about it,” Saint Peter replied, “There are plenty of ministers up here, but Obama is the first lawyer or politician we’ve ever seen.”

Q. What do Obama Messiah followers drink?
A. Kool-Aid, of course.

Q. Why doesn’t the Church of Obama Messiah light candles?
A. Obama wants to keep his followers in the dark.

Q. Why does Obama Messiah wear his hair so short?
A. So it won’t get tangled in his turban.

Q. Why will Obama Messiah remove the windows in the White House?
A. He’ll replace them all with stained glass.

Q. Why didn’t Obama Messiah notice all of the terrible things Pastor Wright was saying?
A. He was too busy polishing his Halo.

Q. Why did Obama Messiah say that Americans are “bitter” and they “cling” to religion?
A.  The Devil made him do it.

Hillary wants socialism to go from the cradle to the grave. Obama Messiah wants it to go from conception through the resurrection.

Q. Why haven’t Obama’s followers demanded that his face be added to Mount Rushmore yet?
A. They’re still trying to figure out how to carve a stone halo.

Q. What does the Obama Messiah say when someone sneezes?
A. I bless you.