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Never write a line of code that someone else can understand. Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long counter intuitive names. Don’t ever code “a=b”, rather do something like: AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm)); Type fast, think slow. Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in macros. Bury the macros in include files. [...]

Bill Gates dies in a car accident. He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. ”Well, Bill, I’m really confused on this call; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you [...]

If you messed up your life, you could press “Ctrl, Alt, Delete” and start all  over!To get your daily exercise, just click on “run”! If you needed a break from life, click on suspend.Hit “any key” to continue life when ready.To get even with the neighbors, turn up the sound blaster. To add/remove someone in [...]

Things You Don’t Want Your Sysadmin To Say1. Uh-oh…2. Oh S***!3. What the heck?!?4. Go get your backup tape. (You DO have a backup tape?.5. That’s SOOOOO bizarre.6. Wow!! Look at this…7. Hey!! The Suns don’t do this.8. Terminated?!?9. What software license?!?10. Well, it’s doing SOMETHING…11. Wow…that seemed fast…12. I got a better job at [...]