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Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking along the beach. Suddenly, Justin says, “Aww, Britney, look at the dead birdie.” Britney looks up at the sky and says, “Where?!”

Never write a line of code that someone else can understand. Make the simplest line of code appear complex. Use long counter intuitive names. Don’t ever code “a=b”, rather do something like: AlphaNodeSemaphore=*(int)(&(unsigned long)(BetaFrameNodeFarm)); Type fast, think slow. Never use direct references to anything ever. Bury everything in macros. Bury the macros in include files. [...]

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students. He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait. Once the test was over, the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his [...]

One day, a man who had just turned 50 retired from his job. It was his birthday, and he was waiting for his surprise party from his wife when he got home. As he walked into his house, ther was no one there. He looked around and found a not laying on the counter. It [...]

There was once was a blonde woman who had just bought a house. She called it Harrybutt. She had a child and named in Crack. She lost Crack and couldn’t find him. So she called the police and said, ” I looked all over my Harrybutt and couldn’t find my crack!”

A hot shot East Coast newspaper reporter was on assignment in Arkansas, when he struck up a conversation with a young lady in a bar. After a half dozen drinks, he suggested they get their own bottle and retire to his motel room, and she readily agreed. “Say, how old are you anyway?” the reporter [...]

There was this Hawaiian and fillipino man that wanted to learn how to hunt. So they met this indian man, the indian man took them to a forest and pitched a camp. The next day they woke up the indian man came back with a huge bear over his shoulder. So the hawaiian and fillipino [...]

Fire authorities in California found a corpse in a burned out section of forest while assessing the damage done by a forest fire. The deceased male was dressed in a full wet suit, complete with scuba tanks on his back, flippers, and face mask. A post-mortem revealed that the person died not from burns, but [...]

Next fall when you see geese heading south for the winter… flying along in V formation…you might consider what science has discovered as to why they fly that way: As each bird flaps its wings, it creates an uplift for the bird immediately following. By flying in V formation the whole flock adds at least [...]

We are the children of the Eighties. We are not the first “lost generation” nor today’s lost generation; in fact, we think we know just where we stand – or are discovering it as we speak. We are the ones who played with Lego Building Blocks when they were just building blocks and gave Malibu [...]