The Irony of Barak Obama
Q. Why did the Secret Service double security on Michelle Obama immediately after the inauguration?
A. If something happened to her, then Barack would be in charge.
Q. Why will there two presidential limousines for the inauguration?
A. So Hillary won’t know which one he’s in.
Q. What is the difference between Barack Obama and Jimmy Carter?
A. Jimmy Carter waited until after the inauguration to ruin the economy.
Q. Why did George Bush declare a state of emergency for Barack Obama’s inauguration?
A. Because everyone knows it’s a national disaster.
Q. What’s an example of irony?
A. Bruce Springsteen is scheduled to sing “Born in the USA” at Barack Obama’s inauguration.
Chief Justice Roberts: Knock, knock.
Barack Obama: Who’s there?
Chief Justice Roberts: Kenya.
Barack Obama: Kenya who?
Chief Justice Roberts: Kenya show me your birth certificate before you’re sworn in?
Barack Obama: Knock, knock.
Taxpayers at the inauguration: Who’s there?
Barack Obama: Eff.
Taxpayers at the inauguration: Eff who?
Barack Obama: Eff you.
Q. Why will Obama quit begging for donations once he’s sworn in?
A. Because he’ll no longer have to ask.
Q. What will the band play at Obama’s inauguration?
A. Inhale to the chief.
President Obama is being criticized because his inaugural celebrations are projected to cost the taxpayers over $400 million. When asked about it, Obama explained that Ted Kennedy planned to attend and there was going to be an open bar.
President Obama plans to ride in the inaugural parade without the traditional limousine. He’ll be in a sleigh pulled by reindeer.
As a precaution for the Obama presidency, the White House copy of the Constitution is being removed. It’s made from hemp.
William Shatner attended Obama’s inaugural ball. After taking a quick look around he got on his communicator and commanded, “Beam me up, Scotty. There’s no intelligent life down here.”
