You Might Be In A Redneck Volunteer Fire Department If…
# your department has ever had two emergency vehicles pulled over for drag racing on the way to the scene.
# you have naked lady mud flaps on your pumper.
# your firehouse has wheels.
# you’ve ever gotten back and found out you locked yourselves out of the firehouse.
# Fire training consists of everyone standing around a fire gettin’ drunk.
# you’ve ever let a person’s house burn down because they wouldn’t let you hunt on their ground.
# at least one vehicle in the firehouse still has decorations on it from the Halloween Parade and it’s January.
# your personnel vehicle has more lights on it than your house has lights in it.
# you don’t own a Dalmation, but you do have a coon dog named Sparky.
# you’ve ever walked through a christmas display and came up with more than 3 new ideas for a light scheme for your truck.
# your rescue truck can smoke the tires.
# your department’s name is misspelled on the equipment.
# your engine had to be towed in the last Christmas Parade.
# dispatch can’t mention your name without laughing.
# the local news crew won’t put your department on TV because you embarassed them last time.
# your defib consists of a pair of jumper cables, a marine battery, and a fish finder.
# you’ve ever taken a girl on a date in a pumper.
# your pumper has been on fire more times than it has been to a fire.
# your pumper smokes more than the house fire.
# the only time the trucks leave the station is on bingo night.
